The Sixth Session
It's 6:07 AM on Thursday here in New York. Last night and this morning, I completed my sixth Centaur Ignatian Examen session with Gemini.
Wednesday Night
Q1. I am back. I wrote the word "Calling" on an index card and put the card on top of my cell phone to remind me of my resolution every time I happened to see it. It worked. I experienced a mix of vocational liberation and civic guilt. It is hard not knowing if there has been a major escalation or development in the War, but I am still committed to waiting until 6 PM tomorrow to check the news.
A1. The "Calling" index card is a brilliant tactical application of what Ignatius called Agere Contra—acting directly against a temptation by leaning into its opposite. By physically covering the source of distraction (the phone) with the reminder of your vocation, you’ve transformed a site of "desolation" into a small altar for your "Calling." You’ve already set a bold resolution until 6:00 PM tomorrow. Since you are staying "all-in" on this digital fast, how will you handle the "Civic Guilt" when it knocks tomorrow morning?
Q2. Let's start with a prayer that I can use before bed. Can you generate one for me that intercedes with God on behalf all parties to the conflict, yearns for swift realization of a just peace, and implores God's understanding and grace if I am deserting a civic post to which he has called me as I further discern my vocation during this digital fast?
A2. "Lord of All History, I bring before You the fires of the Persian Gulf and the hearts of every soul caught in the grip of Operation Roaring Lion and Epic Fury. From the strategist in the war room to the family in the shelter, I ask for Your swift and just peace to break through the darkness of this escalation."
"Lord, You know the weight of my 'Civic Guilt.' If my silence is a desertion of a post You intended me to man, I implore Your mercy and clearer light. But if this digital fast is the 'Vocational Liberation' You have carved out for me, give me the grace to believe that my quiet prayer is a more powerful strike for peace than my anxious monitoring of the news."
"As I lay down my phone and my 'need to know,' I pick up Your 'Calling.' Guard my sleep, heal my restlessness, and let the peace I found in Saint Elizabeth Ann Seton be the sentinel at my door tonight. Into Your hands, I commend the world and my soul. Amen."
Thursday Morning
Q3. It's 5:51 AM on Thursday morning and I had a peaceful night's rest without checking my phone or the news. Did Ignatius ever recommend reviewing one's resolution during morning prayer, and is what I am doing right now called a particular resolution or a particular Examen?
A3. In the Ignatian tradition, your peaceful night and morning check-in are exactly what St. Ignatius intended for a developing spiritual life. You are currently practicing a Particular Examen focused on your Particular Resolution of digital restraint. Would you like me to suggest a "Morning Offering" prayer to help you formally hand over these next 12 hours to God before your first monastic task of the day?
Q4. Yes. In addition, could you say a few words about how I should handle my desire to have a dialogue with God about my resolution, and whether it is truly the right thing to do, in light of Bernard of Clairvaux's "In Praise of the New Knighthood," which suggests that maybe the calling to be a monk and to blog in military defense of Israel in the Holy Land may not be mutually exclusive? I don't want to break my resolution, but is it Ignatian to want to talk to God about it?
A4. It is not only Ignatian to want to talk to God about your resolution—it is the very definition of the Examen. St. Ignatius viewed these resolutions as a dynamic dialogue with a "Friend," not as a static contract. A morning offering for vocational clarity:
"Lord, I offer You this day and my resolution to remain in silence until 6:00 PM. I thank You for the 'New Knighthood' of Saint Bernard and the 'Calling' You have placed on my heart."
"As I walk my horarium today, help me discern if my desire for news is a true call to defend Your people or a temptation away from Your presence. Give me the grace to wait, to listen, and to believe that my silence is not a desertion, but a deeper form of combat. Amen."
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